I will always be a recovering body image addict. It’s not something that goes away with time or fully heals, it’s fluid, weaving in and out of my reality. Mirrors, food labels, portion and clothing sizes will always be a sensitive presence to me. It’s a daily battle to not care.
My body image issues are layered. Thick blankets of moments that at times comfort but always leave me suffocated. It has taken years to understand that my past and imperfections made me who I am. It’s still difficult to accept the beauty in the pain, when I know how badly it hurt.
Healing myself, mentally and physically, has taken a collection of practices to build up the strength to be content with myself. From painting to crystals, I have found yoga to be the core to my recovery.
Yoga gave me a release that was calming and awakening all at the same time. It removed me from the mindset that I had to look a certain way. It provided me with the rawness of finding what felt good, a vulnerability each time I flowed.
Stepping onto my mat gives me a sense of wholeness. Doing only yoga everyday for over a the past 6 months, has made me bury the emotional shadows that held me down. It’s mind-blowing to know that this mindful practice has strengthened me.
With each breath, I release. Yoga has given me the opportunity to shift my focus and provided me with a gentle lens on how I see the world around me. Its like a breath of fresh air, a surreal vibe.
Yoga is an everyday reminder to do what feels good on the spectrum of my body, emotions, and spirituality. It’s given me the courage to nurture without shame and to always find the time for myself.
And like an echo, I made my way back home, to the self.